DECEMBER: A CHAPTER OF ENDING AND BEGINNINGS.

[Dear Readers, I am feeling mentally frozen due to the coldness of December. I'm bored of being bored because being bored is so boring. So from my boredom, here is my idealistic nonsense.] 

TUESDAY DECEMBER 28TH

I always hate the act of leaving and the suspense between departure and arrival. I bid farewell to my hometown like a clumsy astronaut stepping onto an alien planet. Armed with a bag of clothes and a misguided belief that I'm a fully functional adult. Missing home is like the unexpected plot in the grand sitcom of life. It's as if my cozy hometown is the star of the show and I'm just a recurring character, constantly written out of the script but always present in the theaters of nostalgia near the lead actor. Well, it happened again, I'm missing home. It's a bit like misplacing your favorite pair of socks, only the socks are made of nostalgia and warmth. If homesickness burned calories, I'd be the best fitness guru by now. but All I've gained is a deep appreciation for the art of yearning to spend time with people who make me forget that I have a phone. I think homesickness is like a relentless salesperson, constantly trying to sell me memories and emotions I didn't even know I needed. Today I found myself staring out the window, daydreaming about the cozy comforts of home. I guess I'm suffering from a serious case of FOMO( Fear of Missing Out on My Own couch). Sometimes I feel like my hometown and I are worlds apart, but it's comforting to know that we share the same sky, sun, and moon. Despite the distance between us, we are always under the same sky...So it feels like we kind of together.

SUNDAY DECEMBER 3RD

When something unusual happens, it enters the annals of history. But if it happens over and over again, it becomes a running joke. The mobile signal blackout is a kind of tragic comedy that happened in our area for 4 days. It feels like mobile signals playing hide and seek. Today it has been a wild ride on the struggle bus and the driver's name is weak internet. seriously, I've seen faster speeds on a snail's commute. it's like our internet on a diet, and it decides to cut out all the bytes. I tried to stream a movie, and it felt like I was watching it in Morse code like 'dot- dot- dash- buffering dot-dash-dot'. I attempted to check my email but quickly realized that my laptop was nothing more than a glorified paperweight. Even opening a simple webpage is a test of patience. And slow internet is the SI unit of patience. I think I am stuck in a digital traffic jam. Now every click feels like a leap of faith into the abyss of the perpetual loading screen. So here I am stranded in the slow lane of the information highway; clinging to the hope that soon my internet decide to sprint instead of crawl. Until then I'll be here sharpening my patience. 

TUESDAY DECEMBER 7TH

Birthdays aren't rare, some people are indeed rare. It's Ayushi Di's birthday. Me and ayushi di are BFFs (Bad friends forever). we kind of hate each other so much that I just drove 9km to make her day terrible like hell when she specifically asked me not to come. I hate her so much and she is so busy that if I have a choice between her and cringe content on social media, I choose cringe content because cringe is always free (Sorry ayushi di that's how things work! ). I have difficulty remembering dates like when the Battle of Panipat happened but somehow I remember her date of birth( What a waste of my memory!). It is like December is an odd month, seven is an odd number, and the word 'seven' has 'even' in it. That's really odd. She is odd too. Maybe she is not odd that much but mature. Perhaps maturity is when you treat your birthday as a normal day. It's like She doesn't want a fancy cake when she has the wisdom that comes with her age. And by wisdom, I mean to say 'wisdom tooth'. Looking at her and I realize that The 20th is about realism that life is a commercial film where certain anticipation builds up for action and then for a final showdown. In 25th is a realization that life is a mundane art film where every scene is a continuation of the previous scene and there is no twist in the end. On her special day, I want to remind her that she is not getting older; but just upgrading to a newer, wiser version of herself. And by "wiser," I mean, she now has the wisdom to laugh at her own jokes(her jokes are absolute nightmares), even if no one else does.

But on a serious note, I want to speak from the heart, I don't know if she remembers this but I said to her that she is my inspiration. I meant that when I said it in 2018. And 6 years later, I no longer mean that. Dude, I have way better inspiration. So go to hell with my blessings.  

FRIDAY, December 15TH

The past week was a haze of recovery at home. But I got by with little help from my friends(Kavi and Ayushi di), and it was a comedy of errors and belly laughs from start to finish. If life were a sitcom, today's episode would have been a blockbuster even Netflix can envy. Tonight was an epic chapter in the Chronicles of Hilarity—I ventured into the wild world of karaoke with my fearless band of tone-deaf accomplices, a.k.a my friends. It was a musical adventure that left us questioning our life choices and reconsidering our dreams of becoming rock stars, no matter how many eardrums we collectively assault.

Gathering with my ride-or-die crew for a night of karaoke is like unleashing a musical hurricane of hilarity. We're not just singing; we're performing an epic concert for an audience of empty water glasses and utensils. Picture this: we're rockstars in our minds, equipped with hairbrush microphones and a dance routine that's 10% choreography, 90% chaos. Forget about hitting the high notes; we're on a mission to explore uncharted territories of vocal ranges no human has ever dared to reach. It's a harmonious carnival where pop divas, classical masters, rock legends, and shower singers collide in a melodic explosion. We sang Kishor Kumar and Geeta Dutt so well even their spirit from the heavens, couldn't help but give us a standing ovation. During all universal chaos, we just gained memories that will keep us chuckling until the next karaoke catastrophe.

FRIDAY OCTOBER 22ND

In the theater of my clumsiness, my hands are the stage and objects are the unruly actors who've decided to improvise. Today my hands and I engaged in another episode of 'Clumsiness: The Unintentional Comedy Show." it's like my hands have a secret mission to test the limits of gravity or prove the coordinated movements are overrated. And I hate hate hate it. It started innocently enough when I attempted to grab the phone from my desk, but my hands apparently decided it was time for a surprise party, The phone leaped from the desk like an overly excited party guest, I could almost hear it yelling Taa-Da! upon landing on the floor. And my hands, the unsuspected host, could only look on with a mix of shock and confusion. Then the perilous journey to the kitchen, but alas! I stumbled and spilled water all over the floor, shattered all glass, and broke the water filter. I tried to pour myself a cup of coffee and my hands decided to freestyle, creating a modern art masterpiece on the kitchen counter. If you see me fumbling with my bag and objects flying everywhere, don't be alarmed it's just my hand hosting another surprise party for runaway items. I just hate myself for my clumsiness.  I really have considered installing a red carpet in my palm to make objects feel more welcome. It seems only fair given the frequency of their entrance. 

SUNDAY OCTOBER 24TH

Attempting a video call with a family is like a comedy circus on the internet. I talked to everyone and they said they miss me and I miss them too. Emma is also in gauchar after 1 year and she stole the show. Attention shifted to her like sunflowers turning to the sun. Video calls with my self-delusion sisters are like watching Future of India on my video call, where their dreams are as unshaped as their eyebrows. My coming-of-age sisters have been waiting for me to vomit out some profound words of wisdom. So they can laugh and be motivated at the same time. So here I am-

• Don't regressively chase your dreams if you fail once or twice. It is a waste of time because your dreams running away from you.
• If first, you don't succeed at anything, try doing it the way I told you to. And if that doesn't work consult YouTube, there's a tutorial for everything.
• If you can't remember someone's name, just call them Dude. It works in every situation and, let's face it. We are all just dudes navigating this crazy universe together.
• Change your password to incorrect. So every time you forget it, it says 'Your password is incorrect.
• Always respect your parents because they pass school and college without the Internet.
• Be down to earth that Newton has to revise his laws to include a chapter on your exceptional humility. Or just act like you can't afford the bread until they find out you own the bakery.
• In the game of life, always be the player who flips the board when things aren't going your way. It's not about winning, it's about making a dramatic exit. 
• Embrace the glorious mess that you are. So an art gallery could never be as unique as you.
• They say laughter is the best medicine so be a whole pharmaceutical shop. some people make you laugh a little louder, your smile a little brighter and your day a little better. try to be one of those people. 
• Rule of algebra- If it seems easy, you're probably doing it wrong. And in real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
• Stop blaming everyone for your problems. pick one person you hate most and blem them for everything.
• The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger mistakes in the present. 

PS- Sometimes, it's better to follow your heart instead of an advice.

MONDAY OCTOBER  25TH

 Driving home to Christmas is like being in those Hollywood movies where everything falls into place at the end. But I'm not going anywhere. It's a very slow morning here; it's very hard to move. Winter spread out across the town like a relative with slightly too much self-confidence. Here, it is so cold that Water comes only in two temperatures, cold and colder. scientists said the winter of 2023 is warm. I don't know if they are living in a melting polar area or perhaps they are in love because love is warmer in winter and love makes some cold-hearted people worth melting for. Today is Christmas. Amidst the sea of Santa pictures, one truth remains- Dumbledore has a beard better than Santa or Jesus ever could. on this lonely Christmas, my only companions were the echoes of my favorite Al Green's classic pop songs. I watched 'The Holdovers' a Christmas classic for this year. The best movie I saw in 2023. At the end of the day, I feel empty it is like instead of a radioactive spider; I was bitten by a clinically depressed squirrel. I feel like I'm a person who wastes time and doing 'nothing'.But hey, I just got enlightenment that - 'Nothing' is 'impossible' but I do 'nothing' every day. So I can say I'm on a mission-impossible. Not a bad day after all. 

TUESDAY OCTOBER  28TH

The new year will arrive very soon, which of course never means as much as you hope unless you happen to sell calenders. Something like this should have been written on the 31st, right? But how does that even matter? There is this thought which strikes me today. When I look in the mirror. I see an imperfect being who has a number of things to work on. A new year is just like an imperfect being who has to learn a lot from its past self. It has to acknowledge its strength but at the same time realize the extent of its responsibilities. Ultimately a new year signifies aging. 2024 will be my 24th year on this 4.6 billion-year-old earth which revolves around some 13 billion-year-old sun . (I'm not sure whether these statistics are correct as NCERT has not been revised since the past 1 billion years). The most important thing I've done this year is survive. I dealt with some bad news, good news, and fake news at the same time. I feel the scariest place is to be in the same place as last year. so I make revolutionary resolutions(Frankly speaking, I'll do everything I did this year, but in a higher definition). But my New Year resolutions depend on lot many factors. I come from many different kinds of marginalized identities; so each of my identities has different kinds of resolutions-

• Dream big- The best way for me to follow my dreams is to keep sleeping. The concept of 'dream to reality' is a great topic for TED talks but it's an even better tagline for property seller ads. 
• Upcoming year, I'm resolving to spend time looking at my laptop because that is the time I could spend with my phone.
• As a budding blog writer, I'll write a blog named ' How to Smash the patriarchy in your free time'.
• This year I'm going to travel more. Expand my horizon and make it harder for the RAW to find me. My journey will be from being a failure to being a success.
• I'll work on my time management - They say time is relative, yes it's my uncle. So I should respect the time. 
• Masters in at least one language- The body language.
• I spend a lot of time watching TV shows and movies, i could have used that time to read stuff, so this year my resolution is to read more and watch less- Reading more means reading subtitles while watching.
• As a professional overthinker, I should give my brain a vacation from overthinking because poetically speaking the storm in my head ruins the garden that my soul holds. 
• Stay away from the negativity- I'm not gonna be negative because I hate negativity, I mean I don't hate it because that's also negative.
• Drop my bad habits- But wait, no one likes a quitter, right! ( SO screw the resolutions).

The only New Year resolution matters: Let's not die.

Well,' My New Year celebration countdown will be like Five...four...three..two!...one!....SKIP AD.

[PS: Good night, and in case you don't read it at night, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening]

_G